Part 2 - The Signs…Recognizing a Friend in Need

If someone you know always behaved as the “life of the party” suddenly becomes apathetic about their relationships or going out socially, be proactive in a non-threatening manner and ask them about it. Mention the specific instances you noticed. Ask neutral questions such as, “I noticed you haven’t been returning your friends phone calls, how are you doing?” The opposite is also true. Those who are often shy and introspective, may be found indulging in activities which they often avoid - especially situations with alcohol and drug usage. An acquaintance of mine, usually quite reserved - having dealt with depression for many years, woke up with a new sense of enthusiasm and purpose. Her parents were shocked, relieved. They thought she must have “snapped out of it”. Days later, they came to know that her newfound elation resulted from the development of her plan…to commit suicide. Thankfully, her attempt was unsuccessful. Her parents recognized the sudden change in behavior, knew her history with depression, and wanted so badly to believe that she had beaten it. They did not think to question the cause of this sudden change, and almost lost a daughter because of it.

Depression can often be debilitating; getting out of bed may be the most arduous of activities. Showering becomes a luxury you cannot afford. Donning clean clothes is fruitless, since you have not showered in days. Brushing your teeth may be the only form of hygiene in which you partake (and even that is not guaranteed). As recently as last November, my spouse walked into our bedroom, where I had been hibernating for the past four days. My depression was no secret. “I don’t care if you get right back into bed, but damnit, you have to take a shower right now.” That was the first time clean water had touched my body in days, other than my own tears. That small act of recognition, and action, was the impetus needed to take one small step. This lead to another, and then another.

Alternatively, one may begin engaging in risky behavior. You may notice a change towards acts of poor judgment. Drug use, alcohol, self-harm, and other self-destructive behaviors may occur. These behaviors, while not a direct indication of suicidal tendencies, should be taken as a serious warning sign. Such risky behaviors often serve as a release, escalating into far more grave consequences than was the initial intent. Do not let this escalate. Say something now. Say something before it is too late.

According to the National Mental Health Association, 30 to 70 percent of suicide victims suffered from major depression or bipolar disorder. And a 2000 study conducted by researchers at Johns Hopkins University found that approximately 25 to 50 percent of patients with bipolar disorder will attempt suicide at least once. Feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, and overwhelming apathy are common among those with suicidal tendencies. The unrelenting notion that friends and family - who you perceive as being burdened by you - are better off without you in their lives is a main driver behind suicidal tendencies. All-consuming guilt washes over like a wave of darkness, with only one way out. Eight out of ten people considering suicide give some sign of their intentions. People who talk about suicide, threaten suicide, or call suicide crisis centers are 30 times more likely than average person to kill themselves.² Never ignore a passing comment someone makes about committing suicide. Never assume it was merely meant in jest. It may be a cry for help that, if unheard, validates the very feeling of hopelessness they seek to expel.