My eating disorder voice

My eating disorder (ED) started when I was a freshman in college; I was 18 years old at the time. For the many years that followed, my eating disorder and I were on-and-off-again allies for the most part - but even through the “off” times, I continued to listen to my ED voice. Let me begin by explaining what my ED voice is - its basically an ongoing dialogue in my head that doesn’t let up. When I want a dessert, for example, it may say, “But Jamie. You don’t truly want that. You’ve restricted so well today, don’t mess it up now. Put that shit back on the shelf RIGHT THIS INSTANT!” I try to tell that voice to “shut the fuck up” whenever I hear it, and more times than not, I am triumphant.