Or is my depression really me? 

You know those days where there is nothing in the world you want more than to climb into a dark, empty hole and never come out? Well, I do. And it’s horrible. Well, that’s a lie, there is a certain level of comfort in the sought-after solitude of depression. Not the comfort that you want to bask in, but the kind of comfort which - succumbing to its hollowness - brings a certain level of contentment. The kind of comfort only depression can bring.

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Firstly, there is no right or wrong answer to this question. People will take stances on both sides. I, too, have my stance on this matter. Which you’ll hear more about in a second. It is important to understand that each person will find his or her peace of mind in different ways.

Your Peace of Mind…Does your depression define who you are?

Have you let it control all aspects of your life? If you answered “yes” to either of these questions, or even paused to think about it, you aren’t alone. So many of us have felt that sense of dread, just from thinking of walking out your front door. You know that you shouldn’t, but you do. And you resent yourself for it. 

When posed with this question, most people will instinctively (and often defensively) answer with a resounding “NO”. But then they spend the next 12 hours really thinking about it, ruminating over the notion that maybe it could be true. And that, alone, perpetuates the cycle…again. The internet is littered with articles about you are not defined by your illness, whether it be anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or cancer. You are you, you are not your illness. 

But…do you believe that?

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Are you an INTJ, ESTJ, INFP? 

INTJ is what I’m categorized as - the third rarest type, according to Truity. I’ve taken various tests, even some which were professionally administered, and they always come out the same (most recently took John’s Personality Test, and the results were consistent). What does that tell me? Presumably, it means I am more into science than art, it means I don’t like “simple”, and males who carry this categorization are over-represented among substance abusers. But does that really define ME? Thinking more about it, how does personality affect mental health at a more fundamental level?

Take John’s Personality Test

Everybody knows about the Myers Briggs Test. What you may not know is what those results actually mean.  Do they factor into your everyday lives? Did they predetermine your profession? Not necessarily. An article by Gracepoint Wellness states that this test “measures preferences rather than aptitude, the MBTI is not considered a proper instrument for purposes of employment selection. Many professions contain highly competent individuals of different types with complementary preferences.” (see the full article here).

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